To Be Myself or Not

First thing first, I am very unhappy to point out pessimism here. But this is what I have been feeling for some time and I feel like spilling it out. Who knows maybe some implications can bring the positivity back again.

So, here it is.

Whenever you are asking for some fashion tips, the most universal advice you’ll get is “Be Yourself”. A lot of fashion experts accentuate on how important it is to be ‘who you are’ and what really matters is what you can do to make yourself comfortable. So, mostly, fashion designers, bloggers, and stylists are telling you to wear anything you like and highlighting your personality instead of minding what everyone else might says about you. Okay, that’s one excellent point. I can see myself choosing any style I fond of – MY style – and I shouldn’t be afraid of people saying my choice is bad and wrong. So can I dress myself and go out and never have people ask “What the hell are you wearing”?

This is the catch. At the same time, I suddenly realize those fashion experts, the same people, have been playing as judge too. I suddenly realize they have told people “You’re good. You’re bad.” They are setting a severe public belief about what is trending and what is not through their designs, articles, or styling. If you are following the trend then you are labeled as stylish, and it is considered as ‘GOOD’. Otherwise, if you are not following the trend or your style does not match the current trend then you are labeled as ‘BAD’. Have you seen some fashion judging show like FASHION POLICE? My excuse for the show’s fans, but those fashion people judge others in the most vicious way. I feel really terrible for all the people they make fun of. So it is not essentially harmless to be ‘yourself’.

And these ‘convicts’ are not coming only from fashion experts, but also from the common people. I’ve seen a lot of these. I’ve been there. Apparently on the internet, where you are incredibly free to speak your mind anonymously, you would be much cooler if you put bad words on comments; including on someone’s style or look or taste. People are teasing others who dress in their own style. My most outrageous experience was to read a comment saying that ‘Diana Rikasari looked like a clown’. Diana is one of my inspirations. I respect her; I respect her style because it is what she is. Personally, I won’t dress like her, ever! Not because I hate her, but because I know I wouldn’t be as good as her wearing it. I have my own style, and sometimes I use Diana’s style as inspiration. There, I can prove that you can respect someone’s style although it is not your style at all. When you don’t like what other person likes, it doesn’t mean that person is wrong and that you have to say bad things just to make that person agrees with you.

I’ve been called some bad things too. I know they weren’t advice. I surely can tell when people are kindly giving me advice and suggestion or whether they just plain mocking me. And ashamed to confess this; sometimes what people said really got my nerve. Now and then, if I wear a look and someone calls me ugly or weird, I can lose all my confidence in a snap. Ashamed to admit that I can’t be as brave as other people who walk away from bad things people are saying about them. And ashamed to admit that I care more on what people say than what my own mind says.

To sum up, the whole thought of fashion judging makes me going back over everything I have known about fashion itself, about the number one basic rule of being myself. And some questions are left unanswered; do I have to be myself or do I want people to love my fashion style and just giving them what they want? Do I have to take every piece of mind from other people because they know what look best on me? It is really true that fashion is intended for every individual or is it intended to control individual? Can I just ask haters not to hate anymore and pay respect?

About PradnyaCinantya

a fashion blogger.
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1 Response to To Be Myself or Not

  1. anggi says:

    Same questions here. My favourite (not so much fashion) items are boots, long black A-line skirt, loose blouses, a backpack, and…a tumbler! Just thinking about how I might get talked to if I wear them at the same time could deter me from doing just what I really want to do. I can’t agree more with those who say that fashion is more an industry than it is a work of art. But I could totally appreciate the beauty, and the passion of people who really have something yearning inside them that they express in artistic things. It’s just when you start imposing a particular view about what is right/wrong good/bad regarding fashion, basically going beyond your benign intention to bequeth beauty to the world, you become…errr…fashionazi 🙂

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